I wish I could live in Xinwen Lianbo (CCTV News)

Alia | August 23rd, 2012 - 3:17 am

Xinwen Lianbo is a 30-minute prime time news program aired on CCTV1 at 7 pm sharp every evening and is also simultaneously shown on most TV channels in China. Netizens often make fun of Xinwen Lianbo as being the longest-running sitcom in China. The 30-minute news broadcast is said to have 3 signature parts: 1) the first 10 minutes = news about high-ranking government officials’ calendar; 2) the middle 10 minutes = news showing that everybody in China is living a happy life; 3) the last 10 minutes =news showing that those living in developed countries are suffering big time.

There has long been a popular saying on the Chinese Internet “I wish I could live in world depicted by Xinwen Lianbo.” Below is a letter supposing written by a netizen that explains in detail why such a wish exists.

If I can choose what life to live, I wish I can live in Xinwen Lianbo. In Xinwen Lianbo, every official is a pioneer of their times. Ordinary people all have the highest moral standards. Even when occasionally a corrupted official is caught, it will only be mentioned in the blink of an eye, leaving no trace for people to feel disgusted.

If I can choose what life to live, I wish I can live in Xinwen Lianbo. In Xinwen Lianbo, every year is a harvest year, no matter what you grow. Companies are making huge profits every month, no matter which industry it is. Even when there are once-a-hundred-year natural disasters or recessions, profits still go up.

If I can choose what life to live, I wish I can live in Xinwen Lianbo. In Xinwen Lianbo, every kid can afford education. Every poor guy can afford healthcare. Ordinary people live in economic housing with a 77-yuan rent per month. Salaries increase by 11.2%. Employment rate among new graduates reaches 99.13%. The average cost per meal at university cafeterias is only 2 to 3 yuan.

If I can choose what life to live, I wish I can live in Xinwen Lianbo. In Xinwen Lianbo, prices stay stable. Traffic is always good. Environment has been improved. Prostitution is effectively regulated. Criminals are caught immediately.

One day, when I grow very old, please burry me in Xinwen Lianbo.

30 years ago, you [the Chinese government] promoted “Advocate the One Child policy. The government will take care of your retired life,” we believed. 20 years ago, you [the Chinese government] promoted “Advocate the One Child policy. The government will help to take care of your retired life,” we accepted. 10 years ago, you broke all your past promises and changed the propaganda into “Don’t rely your retired life on the government. Rely on social security,” we were still OK to pay for our own retired life. Now we are old, you ask us to continue working and postpone retirement because there are not enough pension funds.

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One Response to “I wish I could live in Xinwen Lianbo (CCTV News)”

  1. Very energetic article, I liked that bit. Will there be a part 2?

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